Sunday, November 30, 2003
Today went out with Yuling, Shihui, Kenneth and Nette... It was rather fun... can say that first time I really share my things with Yuling after so long... rather scared of her last time but not now le... She really changed le.. now more trendy... haha... then Jes so late then reached... saw him at the mrt only tok for a while cos rushing to my cousins wedding le...
After that went to meet Papa and Mama at lavender control... aiyo no taxi stand de... then in the end must flagged a cab near the bus stop... Siansation... fortunately managed to flag a cab... reached the Plaza dunno wat Hotel... not really excited la... perhaps sian le... always seen pple getting married... haha... so not really interesting le... the food there not bad la... but hor... the chicken they chopped into very big pieces...aiyo, so er xin... who dare to eat? The dessert was great cos its my favourite "Tung Yuan" again... so delicious... but its with peanuts fillings de and not sesame feelings de... but its still irresistable... hee hee... got to know someone who has the same birthday as me but he is older then me by 2hours plus...haha... he's a distance relative, a rather cute guy... but too bad... only get to say Hi nia... :(
Actually rather miss him de today, but nv cry for him le this couple of days... Nette say gd cos I will forget him soon... but will I? haiz, really hope so... All the best to myself... Jia you!!!
Shujuan1:17 AM
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Aiyo... today really very comical leh my supervisor... just cough abit only... she ask me go see doctor... keke... luckily its company doctor so is FOC... heehee... the medicine really sucks lor... damn smelly... Yucks... then the stupid me nv take mc from doctor cos afraid that it will be considered one day leave... in the end realize that it will not affect the leave... stupid right?
After that went down ST to work, today nv rush like last fri... purposely leave exactly at six sharp so that I can take my own sweet time to go down... got my results today too... not bad la... got one subject is somehow unexpected... hee hee... but happy that really no Cs this time round... finally... :)
Tomoro will be meeting nette, yuling, kenneth so on and so forth... guess tomoro willl be a real packed day... morning attachment, afternoon go out ith frens and have to attend my cousin's wedding in the evening time... its has really been a long time since I had last attended a relative's wedding... think tomoro willl indeed be a meaningful day... When will I can marride leh? Hmmm... (",)
Shujuan12:57 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Finally went home straight after work today without going anywhere... this whole week have been going out non-stop... went home to watch Holland V... haven been watching for about a week le... rather touched when I saw the part where Yang Xiong saved Wan Wan from being attacked with the knife... in my ("v") thinking will there be anyone tt really would love me so much? Will there be anyone that would love me so much to the extend that he is willing to lay his life for me? Tots tots and tots again... haha... guess I am just dreaming...
Anyway really so tired today... nearly fell asleep at work sia... today is the first time during attachment where I get to eat something nice... ate the Tou Hua Tung Yuan at Mr Bean... It was simply delicious... simply cannot resist... hee hee... haiz... the boss cum back le... ai yo... can start to hear him barking again... sianz...
Tomoro will be going back to ST to wrk again... guess tomoro will be rather relaxed cos its buffet... and its gonna be gals power tomoro...
Shujuan10:35 PM
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Went singing with my poly galz today... haha... abit no voice le... then got a bit "zao xia"... keke... really lik jing's voice leh... really damn power de... her singing really superd sia... actually was rather okie at first... till i listen to leenz and yun singing "Ai Ne?" rather sad... tears just flow suddenly... but for a while only... just wondering where has all the love gone to? All the happiness and everything suddenly just disappear... somehow feel that he has really fallen for another gal le.... just have the feeling... dunno why... though he got say that reason is confirm dun have b4... but maybe he is lying to me... who knows right? well, it dosent really matter also... pple do change de... and i strongly believe in a bible verse which says "What you sow, you will reap"... but i think feelings for him getting less and less le... not as much as last time le... i know it will take me quite a long time to forget him but just slowly lor cos i know the more i try to forget, the more i think... so dun really wanna force myself to forget him... somehow felt that my heart have harden somehow... actually dun really like it this way but perhaps this would also be gd somehow... at least will not be bully by pple easily... hopefully... hee hee...
So sianz, till now the supervisor of mine still dun want grade me for my first two weeks attachment... always so busy de... ai yo, think must wait for whole four mths to finish then she will grade us le... really idiot de... arghh... so sad... think Kath leaving soon... think next month or January....haiz, she is really a helpful person, and also very approachable, if i dunno anything, i just have to ask her and she will just be willing to me de... wonder how life will be without her le... :(
Shujuan11:34 PM
You're an ESFJ
ESFJ
Well, what's there to say about ya, huh? You're a helpful person who places a high value on harmony. You pay close attention to people's needs and wants and work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. You follow through on your commitments...you like structure and closure and like situations where warmth and compassion is shown. You're at your best by organizing people in getting a job done.
Radiate warmth and fellowship and generally fit in well with your classmates or workers....concerned about the feelings of others and like to help out when possible. You know it's important to give as well as receive and like to donate your services as a volunteer. You like to be with compatible people. You have an easier time making friends and accepting their roles in life... you like doing things traditionally.. you're old-fashioned that way.
You take the parent, spouse, employee or whatever role seriously...you learn best in a situation where you know what you can expect...you don't like continued interruptions..you really have to get along and like your teachers to learn well from 'em, huh? You place a high value on following through on tasks and assignments...you take the time to see how things fit together in the big picture, but this sometimes slows you down and makes you feel like you're learning slower than others...you respect rules and authority.. you do what you can to make sure your relationships run smoothly...
When you're in a leading situation, you pay attention to the needs of others. You often come across to others as friendly, warm and concerned....leisure is to be earned after work is done...like posting on the Storm Palace before playing the games.. ...you like including others in your relaxing... you like to have your social events regularly planned -- like a weekly softball league..
Love means warmth and commitment and you show this to your partner in many tangible ways...like cards and gifts and flowers and so on ...once you're committed, you stay in it even if it's an inconvenience to you...and maybe even longer than it's healthy...because you give so easily in a relationship, you're disappointed if others don't give as freely as you do.. you're more loyal to the institution of the relationship or marriage than the person...when burned in a relationship, you get hurt bad, and may need time to heal and get over it before moving on....you can really hurt someone if you wanted to...
Watch for: you tend to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.. learn how to manage conflict and appreciate that conflict can help people in relationships to understand each other better...value your own priorities more and don't always put others' needs ahead of your own...don't bite off more than you can chew...hard to take or give corrective feedback, isn't it? You may not always ask for appreciation that you deserve...you might need to develop more assertiveness that way..you assume you know what's best for others and state these opinions.. that might rub 'em wrong and make you look bossy and rigid.... don't get so caught up in the details that you forget the larger picture....
ESFJ: "Extra Special Friendly Joiner"
This is the kind of person I am... taken from a personality test...
kinda true somehow...
Today went ST to wrk again, so tiring sia... lunch serve, after that reset back, dinner serve again... so sian... do same thing again... luckily at night, got one gal attached to me... at least beverages she can help me here and there... aiyo, dunno y i think my mind drifted apart somehow while doing vinegar and pepper then the whole pepper drop and break... haiz... luckily in the end, JH help me to sweep the floor... thanks hao... dunno wats wrong with me... sianz... at the ballroom the whole scene on sun just seems to repeat itself in my mind though he nv work today... dunno y... but just like that lor... abit heart pain la... but still okie... anyway, today got to eat my "Tang Yuan" finally... Yippee... so happy... thanks to louise... haha and that Wei Wei tot i was kidding all along that i like the tung yuan... today then he know i am not kidding... funny sia...
Tomoro going KTV with poly gals, hope will not zao xia tomoro... keke... really tired le... think go sleep liao...
Shujuan12:50 AM
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Today meet up with close sec school buddies, Samantha, Sophia and Nette... really so long nv four person go out together le... last time in sec school always go eat dessert together after school, if not will go shopping at the small and tiny northpoint... haha.. really misses those old days... those innocent days... hehe... so happy to have meet up with them... esp Sophia, really long time nv go out with her le...
Went Seoul Garden at Marina today, ate quite alot... haha, so full sia... admit got miss him abit cos that time went to eat with him b4... but memories again... anyway, think he know i cry yest... heard from nette he was in the office... but nv mind... watever done cannot be undone... no wonder hy say he got ask wat happen to me, say he fan all these, need time to think wat to say... dosent matter anyway le, if he wants to tok, he ultimately will, if he dun want, i also won't bother so much le... its no point talking to a bull, they wont understand anyway...
Shujuan12:25 AM
Monday, November 24, 2003
Today was a very sad day... went back to ST to work... haiz... ask him if he have read the letter... he say got... ask him y no reply... he say he busy... hurt.... really hurt... then went upfront to him ask him if he still treat me as a fren... he say ya... then i ask him then y no reply my message and ans my calls, he say nothing to say... then he say I got things say then say la... then i told him how to say when u r avoiding me... he walked away... so hurt... went office and burst out... finally deleted all the messages after so long... really too hurt le... dun wanna care anymore... so hurt that cant even serve the dinner... supposed to serve bridal today but how to serve with a sad face... really thanks to nette for taking over me to serve... thanks gal... anyway felt better now... really alot better... perhaps just like that... I will just be the cheerful me again... Its my life...
Shujuan1:26 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2003
So tiring... just reach home... went shopping whole day from bugis to suntec then to millenia walk find jarlyn... zou dao wo jiao suan sia... haha... after that went to meet up with Jes... He gave me alot of advice... Its just a matter of whether I want to listen anot... hehe... I will try to listen de... hopefully it works... maybe wat u say its true... but Jes if you are reading this, I will not wear the prada shirt and all the branded stuff de... keke... I will try to improve myself de... hee hee... Thanks pal!!! anyway, finally bought my heels, though abit ex but its comfortable and its not so high... found wat I want... heehee...
Tomoro got to work at ST again... but need to work la... have been spending alot recently... must replenish back... heehee... haiz... gal ah if you are reading my blog just wanna let you know that i really did not left you out... really... dun be sad becos of this k... haiz....
Did something tt I wanted to do long time ago, finally have the courage to do it le... just hope that she wil forgive me... even if she don't, i will not blame her de... cos it is partly my fault... so sorry... but at least a load off my mind...
Will everything be normal tomoro? or will he just walk away when he see me? haiz... watever it is... just have to take it... perhaps he is doing this for my gd also...
Shujuan1:58 PM
Saturday, November 22, 2003
So tired today... rather irritated with the supervisor today... haiz... no petty cash with me ma... just wanna ask her to open the safe for me, then she ask me go change, how the hell will I know go where change, then she like not happy say everything also ask me... something like that... not i want to ask de ma... rather pissed off sia... then got to wrk st today, already left there at 6.10 le, still ask me to wait till six twenty... arghh... haiz, still must tahan till end of February... sianz...
Went back ST, actually wanted to pass him a letter through friends de but in the end saw him walked past me, he walked real fast as usual.... quickly grab his shoulder and pass the letter to him... also dunno y my reflex suddenly so fast siaz... just hope he will just at least read thru the letter and feel something... please do not throw the letter away or tear away can? rather du lan at ST today also... one person handle the vip table nv mind... that person still pass me the tray expect me to help her carry the champagne glasses... really angry sia... but luckily in the end got Soo ying helped me... if not, really dunno how le... haha... finally got to taste the bai nian hao he after so long nv drink le... so nice and shuang kou sia... :)
As for him, i also dunno wat to do anymore le... Just hope he will be happy...
Shujuan12:24 AM
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Another day have pass... still misses him alot... one month ago went to celebrate his birthday... everything was so happy then... haiz... but one month later... everthing was gone... :(
Went shopping with yun today... bought a skirt... quite happy to have a new skirt... but hor quite ex sia... 40bucks... Oh no!! been spending so much recently... jia lat... must wrk more to earn back le.... suppose to go out with huiyi de but she had a high fever suddenly... dunno wat happen to her... really hope she will get better soon... huiyi must take care okie?
tomoro will be going st to work... all alone though got hazel and colin but haiz somehow still feel so afraid and scared... afraid to face him... wanted to tok to him so much... hopefully everything will be as normal as can be... just wanna treat him as a new fren i have known... haiz... i know he will no longer be the same old one that i loved liao le... :( Well, just have to take things by the stride... No choice... hopefully "auntie" wont visit me tomoro... if not really jia lat le... God, Please make everything go smoothly tomoro...
Shujuan11:47 PM
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Deep in my heart, I still loves and misses the bao bao that i once knew... you are no longer the same old one... He will nv bear to ignore me like you de... :(
Let Me Die (µçÓ°¡°2002¡±Ö÷ÌâÇú)
Çú£ºÐ»öª·æ | ´Ê£º·ëµÂÂ× | ±à£ºÍõË«¿¥
Are we at war tonight,
will there be angels whispering to me good night,
don't wake when the lightning strikes
my heart for you is true,
let no one take that from you
time is running tight,
can't change from wrong to right
So I'll close my eyes and dream a little
Just like how we used to be baby
It's time to say fare-well,
No need to cry or feeling sorrow
It's alright, all in the book of life
heaven grant me one last wish I beg you
Let me say these words before I go
I will love you till the end of time
with every breath of mine, I'll hold you by my side
but I'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can change my world
from black to white
So I'll close my eyes and dream a little more
Are we at war tonight,
will there be angels whispering to me good night,
don't wake when the lightning strikes
heaven grant me one last wish I beg you
Let me say these words before I go
I will love you till the end of time
with every breath of mine, I'll hold you by my side
but I'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can give me strength to fight,
till the sky is burning, It's the end of time
look ahead tomorrow, a long and winding road
keep the faith of mine don't let it go
you're the only reason night ain't growing cold
what will I do, without you
I will love you till the end of time
with every breath of mine, I'll hold you by my side
but I'll rest in peace, my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can make my world so bright,
life, no longer empty,
with you in my heart, In my heart
Shujuan11:37 PM
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Today went esplanade again... haha with huiyi, nette and the long time no see artono... it was quite a pleasant outing, we went to a small dian xin house in suntec basement to eat... haha... poor artono... always kena beaten by us for anything he said... keke :)...
Well, really miss him so so much... haha... esp the fountain there... memories again... haiz... but nv mind la... sure got memories de ma... haiz... now just hope that he will give me a chance to talk to him... thats all i ask for... can you please stop ignoring me??? Wo pai tuo ni hao ma???
Tomoro wrk again... sianz... repeat the same old things again... then going movie with primary school gd fren cheng bee after that... really long time nv see her le... hope tomoro will be a better day... :)
Shujuan12:30 AM
Saturday, November 15, 2003
ARRGG... damn fucking angry and tired today... went back to st to work... really very du lan though abit sad... really dunno wat he want ah... just want to talk to him as a normal fren also cannot meh? Everytime I near him, he sure walk very fast de... If not he will just bow his head or look elsewhere... Worst is, i just wanna borrow a stupid coke from him, he simply dun want cum back to the side stand... dunno izzit purposely de anot... really fucking angry lehz... y he must like that de huh? Must he make my life so miserable? Thankfully, hy got work and my guests are very nice pple... if not, think will burst out le... already gastric very pain and tired le and yet he must still gimme all this nonsense... :(
Shujuan1:13 AM
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
So tired... just came back not long ago... just now went esplanade with huiyi, really like that place alot... bring me sweet memories of him... hee hee... but i its just memories and memories... haiz... today was rather a busy day i can say... get to do new thins but this one abit more worst, sort out air tickets... make me "Yan hua hua"... still think of him somehow... haiz... but luckily got the job to keep me occupied... hee hee :)
Tomoro will be going ktv with nette, huiyi, liting, junfeng and kenneth... hope it will be a fun trip... hope i will try not to cry... keke... nv hear junfeng sing b4... heard that hes singing is nice... tomoro i will be able to know le...
Wandering wat i will be doing tomoro... sianz... yeah!! just bought a new top today again... so happy...
Shujuan11:18 PM
Monday, November 10, 2003
hmmm... today have really been a very very busy day... so much things to do... haha actually its only two things la, doing sum billing invoice and filing... ai yo, this two jobs can already ma ke me so tired la, yao suan bei tong... keep repeating the same thing... abit sianz... but at least it did drift my mind away for thinking so much of him... though still got think la of cos... but the pple there are still quite nice la... I cay say... :)
After that went on a shopping spree on my own, it is indeed the first time i shop on my own...Nette was shocked when i told her I went shopping alone... haha... So Happy, bought 3 tops for myself... though heart pain la... cos really waste quite lot of money... but its really been a long time since I buy things for myself le... so its worth it la... hee hee :) hope tomoro will learn new things, if not my hand will broke one day... wahaha (",)
Now go watch West Side Story le... dunno whether nice or not... hope its nice...
Shujuan10:51 PM
Sunday, November 09, 2003
haiz... almost a week le, still misses him alot alot... y am I so silly? why am i still crying for him till now? tot my feelings had lessened le but actually it have not... only know how to comfort pple.. but y can't you just comfort yourself? why? why? why? haiz... everything seems okie le till i listen to the song ni hui bu hui bian... haiz, i know pple do change de but y so fast? why? Why?
Tomoro first day of attachment le but I am not at all excited about it... this week has really been a lousy week... haiz... it shouldn't be this way de... really should be a happy week for me de but... :( really hope that things will have a change when i start my attachment... really hope that i can forget him by indulging myself with work... but can I? can I?
But till now still hope that can remain close fren with him... but i think he is ignoring me which makes me feel worst.. really worst...
haiz... i am such a failure...
Shujuan5:31 PM
Saturday, November 08, 2003
*Yawnz* so tired... Yest went back to st to check shift... actually got tot of wanting to see him but in the end i backed out... haiz... heard hendry asking hazel why are we there? haha immediately flew to tok to wei wei cos i really scared of seeing his reaction when he see me... will he be like randy? give me that stupid face... i really very scared... so scared... so scard that he will just walk away and ignore me... i dun want... :( ... haiz, after that went to meet up with Yuling and company just for a dinner... quite long nv see them le... rather miss those days in church...ha ha... when they started talking bout church, me, nette and hazel will start to drift away the topic to friendster... haha...
Went clubbing with hazel after that, haha, we like grass hopper like that keep on club hopping... we went to a total of 3 clubs... we went Club 3, Rush and Angel... it was rather fun, dance and dance but somehow the songs like repeating... Sianz...
Now at haze house writing my first blog.... dunno y this few daes have been feeling rather numb after crying so badly for 2 daes... haha... cried while shopping and eating on mon and tues... perhaps really so sad and hurt... :( and shocked... Sunday say will change, mon say break off... what is this??? can somebody tell me why? why must he do this to me? till now, i really dunno y... but i know he say he stop loving me recently le... feelings will so fast change de mehz??? haiz... dunno when will forget him... maybe one month, maybe 1 year... i also dunno.... Just hope that he will stop avoiding me and i myself will not try to refrain from talking to him when i see him at wrk...
Later going to meet Jes le, yeah! finally can go out with him le... no restriction le... hope that he will stop telling me those church stuffs for the time being... too bad, he is now in army if not can ask him out more often... hao la hao la, I shall end here and friends who have worried for me this few daes, i am sorry oh!!! dun worry for me ok, i will still carry on with my normal life de... thanks to all of you this few daes for accompany me!!!
Shujuan1:56 PM
Friday, November 07, 2003
Yest just went zouk to dance all my sadness out.int felt better ,in the end hear the song together forever and cried in nettes arm cos suddenly think of him again. but nvm la.anyway everything was quite fun.alot of happenings. haha.chinsun, vincent and yongjun was drunk.chinsun was lying near the drain and keep saying bout the gal he like, yongjun worst.shirt kena burnt siaz,damn funny,lol.anyway, now feeling better le...though really misses him alot and still loves him
Shujuan9:59 PM
